Goa –
Walking around Goa on my own brought a flood of feelings/issues/thoughts/etc. to the surface. I didn’t really feel scared but certainly ‘on guard’ and a bit uncomfortable. As Mary Omwake used to say, if your palms aren’t sweating you’re not living large enough – so I guess I’m finally living large enough! It seems that it takes between 3-6 refusals to get vendors in India to believe that ‘no means no’. I was never accosted in any way but certainly the image of the rich American, and I realize to this level of poverty I am incredibly rich, is an open door to haggle, entice, encourage or invite to purchase goods and/or services.
I did walk farther than I thought I would down the alleys and street from the hotel and made about a mile (maybe less) circle from the hotel and back to the beach walking along the coast until I reached the hotel again. It was an interesting stroll and I’m pretty sure the phrase I’ve heard for the acronym INDIA is true for me:
I’ll
Never
Do
It
Again
This is not my country, my safe place, or where my heart sings. It has been and is an interesting and fascinating experience and one I will be forever grateful for but it is not a place that I relish coming back to. So, this one is getting ticked off my checklist…
The beach here is both lovely and far dirtier that any beach I’ve been to on either coast in the states. Lots of trash. Did find a perfect and tiny sea shell smaller than my fingertip that has been added to things that I feel I must take with me 🙂 I continue to have my sensibilities assaulted by such visions as watching men just stop by a palm tree on the beach and urinate. I know that this is not the only place where this happens in the world and it may even happen in my country but it is not something I have actually seen. And the smell of ‘humanity’ is strong everywhere.
The pull to be somewhere ‘sanitary’ is strong and I still have about 5 weeks remaining in India – my hope is that the deepening process at the temple will have a level of physical comfortableness that will allow me to relax a little bit. Honestly if truth, real truth be told, I’m seriously considering skipping the deepening and traveling to Australia…I hear the fears and they are loud.
Just spending time watching/listening to the ocean was a wonderful experience. The whole visit here has been filled with a huge juxtaposition of the magnificence of nature and the beauty of it vs. the press of humanity and the blight humans can be inflict on the earth and each other. Really, even though I close my eyes to it and have always chosen to live in the suburbs (sterilized America) it is the same wherever I travel to poverty stricken and hope deprived places – and I feel this way even traveling through the depressed portions of my own greater metropolitan area. Halfway round the world and it’s the same – I have simply divested myself of my security blanket and I’m depending on myself/my divine in ways I have never had to at a depth I’ve never been able to travel. That’s the whole purpose…travel on the inner and outer landscape to new and undiscovered places.
Now I’m preparing to catch my ride to the airport. It takes about an hour and I hope to immerse myself in the beauty of the far landscape as the immediate roadside blurs into indistinct images…
Picture post when I get back to Mumbai this evening.